Archive for June, 2012

An hour to myself, unexpected.

June 3, 2012

The Kids are at neighbourhood friends. Just now, a phone call to say that they’ve been invited for dinner and will be back in an hour. Bonus. I have an hour to myself, unexpected. What to do? More laundry or chores? Perhaps a recipe I’ve been wanting to do for sometime? A few phone calls or emails? No, I will write and exert my suppressed creative juices and see what’s squeezed out. Time, that elusive yet structured construct that propels lives, I have 60 minutes of it to do what I want, unhindered, roaming.

My thoughts roam to last night. Capital Velo Festival, an annual showcase for bike lovers and environmental types, was holding it’s “tour de nuit”- a night ride on city streets closed to motor traffic. There was a good crowd gathered to take part in this collective display of civic pride. My husband Richard is a master at display, having created more creative pedal power contraptions than I can now count. He, with the help of a friend, managed to get our hammond organ out of the house and place it on a large trailer that would be pulled by our tandem trike, this way the friend could play the organ during the night ride. I used to be overwhelmed by these “theatrics,” but now I take a deep breath and have fun with it. And it was so much fun, with people around enjoying the music and the festive spirit. Annabelle, my five year old, traveled home on the trailer pulling that organ, sitting atop the leslie speaker, which sat next to the organ. I took a mental snap shot of that…memories for the future. 

Thoughts now roam to the fragility of life. This week I’ve digested the news of two losses. One of a colleague not well known and the other of a longtime and dear friend whose husband passed away. I have a difficult time accepting death as our ultimate fate. Seems so extreme and unfair to the carnival of life with all it’s vivid colours. A dear friend of mine died last year of cancer. He was 56. He was so zen about dying, and accepted it without fear or panic. I’ve learned from talking to friends and family, that it’s not the end, but a continuation of life, a routine cycle of living things. I’ve learned that I have to take the ego out of the death. It has nothing to do with you, just like being born, it’s the result of chance circumstance. Doesn’t make it easier, but I remind myself to live in the moment, and embrace all life has to offer to me today.

So, my hour is almost up, and now my mind roams to when my little people will return and the needs they may have. Let’s hope for more of these unexpected hours again soon! They are good therapy.